Sunday, November 30, 2014

Am I The Only One?

As an intelligent, heterosexual female, I seem to be missing some essential female traits. I have all the right parts and I like to dress up and look nice. I enjoy accessorizing with jewelry, but it doesn't matter to me if it's real, as long as it doesn't look gaudy or tacky. I don't linger and drool at jewelry store windows. Actually, I don't like shopping very much at all, mainly because all the stores seem to cater to size two teenagers. As a tall overweight senior citizen nothing fits. Note to retailers: I don't always want to look like I'm going to a funeral. A selection of sophisticated, colorful clothes, not too tight or short, could increase sales to those of us with disposable income.

I don't like chick flicks or any entertainment that is sweet, heartwarming or designed to make me cry. I much prefer anything with lots of action as long as it ends happily. Realism is overrated and abundant. I prefer escapism. Movies and books are supposed to entertain.

My fingers refuse to do handicrafts with any degree of proficiency, and I have no place or desire for any of it in my home. Over the years I've collected enough dust catchers. I need to get rid of stuff, not create more. Scrapbooking bores me. I'm a decent cook, but I don't look for or cut out recipes. My pastries taste good, but won't win a prize for their looks.

But my most glaring deficiency is the fact that I don't love Christmas. I don't dislike it. I love my Savior and delight in celebrating his birthday and enjoy spiritual Christmas music. I even like buying presents and baking goodies for my friends and neighbors. However, for me wrapping packages is a utilitarian task, rather than a delight in creativity. Decorating the house and the tree became more of a chore once the kids left home. Unlike most of my female friends who savor the holiday from Thanksgiving until well after New Years, when they reluctantly take down the decorations, mine go in the boxes the day after Christmas.

I don't think I'm a Scrooge. I've never even been tempted to say Bah Humbug, so I can't help but wonder what is wrong with me and if I'm the only one that feels this way.

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